Can't Let Go
by thisislogical
Summary: Jo joins the crew of the starship Enterprise as a Communications Lieutenant. Her xenolinguistics skills are amazing, thanks to her Betazoid heritage. But communicating with the First Officer proves difficult. Will she be able to avoid her feelings and form a friendship with this curious Vulcan?
1. Chapter 1

_**A.N. Hello all! I have decided that as well as writing my Spock/Nyota story, I am going to do the unthinkable. What is that you ask? I am writing a Spock story…with an OC. I know, I know. Crazy, right? Well I was thinking about using this character in another fandom, and then thought that she would be great with Spock. So I made her a half Betazoid and stuck her into this plot. I hope you can all give this story a shot and leave any reviews, good or bad. **_

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek or any characters, worlds, or ships affiliated with it. This includes all further chapters in this story. **_

Can't Let Go

by: thisislogical

Joanna Clafton hurried down the hallway of the starship Enterprise, knowing that she would not be late for her shift but rushing just to make sure. Jumping into a turbolift, she leaned against the wall as it made its trip upward towards the bridge. This was her first shift as a Lieutenant, and she would not do anything to mess it up. There were people counting on her, people she wanted to impress.

She thought of her father, who she had spoken to only an hour ago. He had told her how proud of her he was. Commander Daniel Clafton was employed at Starfleet Academy and taught several xenolinguistics classes, including Klingon, Ferengi, and Vulcan. As such, Joanna was fluent in these languages and many, many more. When she was a child, she spent a large amount of time travelling throughout space with her father. Her mother, who had died when Joanna was only a few months old, had been a Betazoid. Because of Joanna's unique heritage, her father also made sure that she spent some time on Betazed. When she was 13, her empathic ability showed itself. Her father had not been sure if she would develop any of the abilities Betazoids did. Although she was a very strong empath, Joanna had not become a telepath like her mother. As such, she was much more emotional than humans, though she rarely showed it.

When she had entered the academy, Joanna was fluent in 53 Federation languages and every Terran language as well. This, combined with the fact that she could tell what others were feeling, made her an excellent communications officer. When the Captain had requested an additional Xenolinguistics Lieutenant, she was the first choice for the spot. Joanna was looking forward to working with Lieutenant Uhura, whom she had heard much about.

After a few seconds, the turbolift doors opened to reveal Captain Kirk and Commander Spock. Kirk, dressed in his gold shirt and regulation uniform, took one look at Joanna and flashed a charming smile. The Vulcan First Officer inclined his head and stepped in, soon followed by the Captain.

"Captain Kirk, sir." Joanna stood straighter, eager to do everything exactly right on her first day.

"Hello…?" he answered, waiting for her to supply her name.

"Ensi- I mean, Lieutenant Clafton, sir." Joanna looked down quickly, a blush forming on her face. When she looked back at the Captain, he was smiling again, but this one looked more genuine. She felt humor and sympathy, as well as a type of kindness, coming from his direction. She knew that he would not fault her for her error.

Looking at the Commander, Joanna felt almost nothing. Very insignificant amounts of curiosity came from where he was standing. This confused Joanna; she had never before been unable to completely read someone's emotions. Then again, she had never before met a Vulcan.

She looked back to the Captain as he replied, "Ah! You're our new Communications Lieutenant, right? Great! What's your first name again?" He held a hand out to her, and she quickly took it.

"Yes, sir. Joanna is my name, but everyone calls me Jo." She smiled, and he smiled back. This day seemed to be going well so far. She knew, of course, of his reputation. However, she also knew that he had not continued that reputation when he had become Captain. He wouldn't be hard to get along with at all.

Jo felt a blast of confusion before it disappeared, and she turned her gaze towards the First Officer. It had definitely come from Commander Spock, she was certain. But why?

"Captain," the half-Vulcan began, "I was not informed that there would be an additional Lieutenant stationed on the bridge."

"Yeah, I requested another. Uhura seemed a bit stressed lately, and I thought another person working with her would be good. Besides, this one," he said, pointing towards Joanna, "has great credentials. She'll be amazing for landing parties and all the diplomatic nonsense we go through."

"May I inquire as to her 'great' credentials?" he focused on Jo, who was trying very hard not to squirm. Soon the Captain was looking at her as well, and she realized that she was expected to tell the Commander exactly why she was a good choice for the position.

"Well, sir," she began, "I am fluent in 53 Federation languages, with substantial knowledge of 42 others."

"While this is impressive, it is no different than many other Ensigns' knowledge. Is there a specific reason you were chosen?" The Commander looked as stoic as ever, but Jo felt a challenge coming from him. He had just made it very clear that she was in no way special for her intelligence and knowledge. Fine then.

"I am half Betazoid, sir, and am very adept at conversing well with others. I am not a telepath, but I am an empath. I know what to say to pacify others."

At her words, Jo felt a spark of fear from the Commander before it was replaced with understanding and relief. Why had her statement made him fearful?

"This does make you more qualified than other candidates. I understand now, thank you for explaining this to me." He turned forward again, as if he had asked the time of day.

She turned back towards the Captain, who had an amused grin on his face. "Yes, he's always like that," he stage-whispered.

Jo felt a surge of annoyance from the other man. Working on the bridge may be harder than she thought after all.

Despite her initial worries about working with the bridge crew, Jo spent the first few days doing her job perfectly. Uhura was friendly and they worked well together, often spending their down time together.

When her first real mission arrived, she had no idea how much she would depend on her new friend.

"Captain, we're being hailed." Uhura turned, one hand to her earpiece, to see Kirk's reaction.

Eyes wide, he replied, "On screen."

The bridge crew faced forward in order to see who had hailed them and why. Jo felt curiosity from every member of the crew, including, to her surprise, Spock.

In the last week she had become accustomed to feeling very little from the stoic Vulcan. That was not to say she did not feel anything. She had realized that his shields must be very strong in order to block her empathic ability.

When she turned her eyes toward the screen, Jo saw a Starfleet officer.

"Admiral, sir." Jo felt relief and excitement, as well as concern, from the direction of her Captain as he addressed the man on-screen.

"Captain Kirk. We have an assignment for you. Soon you will be passing the planet Alpha XIX, right?" When Jim nodded his head, the Admiral continued, "Good. We need you to survey the land. Last we saw it was uninhabited, but that was a long while ago. No one's been near it recently. Can you record your observations and send them to us within the week?"

"Yes, sir. Thank you." He nodded his head to the other man as a good-bye. When the screen cleared, he let his enthusiasm show in his bright smile. "Ok crew! We're going to need a landing party. Assuming it actually is uninhabited, we won't really have too much of a problem. Spock, you're coming. No, don't cite regulation. I'll go too. Jo, you've never been in a landing party, right? No? Ok then you're coming too. No better time to start then now. We'll take Giotto too. Should be good. Sulu, you have the conn. Uhura, keep an eye on us. Scotty," this he said into his communicator, "prepare to beam 4 down to Alpha XIX in about an hour."

"Captain," Spock interrupted what would have surely been another excited round of directions. "Would it not be prudent to bring Doctor McCoy as well, incase any of us become sick or allergic to any substance on the planet's surface?" He raised on eyebrow.

Jim smiled. "Are you saying that I'm somehow going to get myself sick while we're down there Spock?"

"It is possible for any of use to become ill while on a strange planet."

But Jo knew he was joking. She could feel the amusement emanating from Spock, as well as from Jim.

"But it was directed at me. Scotty," he brought his communicator out again, "make that 5 to beam down. Bones! You're coming down with us to Alpha XIX."

"Aye, laddy, Ah'll get it all ready for ya." Scotty's voice came from the small device in Jim's hand.

McCoy answered soon after. "Damnit Jim, why do I have to come down to an uninhabited planet with you?"

"Because Spock's scared I'm gonna get myself sick."

"Captain," Spock replied, "fear is a-"

"Human emotion, yeah yeah."

As she stood on the transporter pad, Jo could barely hold in how excited she was feeling. As it was, she was already bouncing on her heels. Jim looked over at her and smiled kindly, and understanding flooded her brain from his direction. Giotto and McCoy were laughing, knowing exactly how she felt. Spock, on the other hand, was looking at her with one eyebrow raised. She felt curiosity and slight amusement coming from him.

For the first time, Jo wondered if she could feel more from him. Her shields were partially raised, as they always were. When in the presence of others, she maintained a barrier between her emotions and others'.

When her surroundings began to disappear, her curiosity got the better of her. The second they reappeared, she focused on Spock and let her shields down...and encountered a wall. Spock was using a shield, one much more powerful than her own. And it was strong. But a second after they appeared on the planet's surface, his shield faltered for a moment. Only a moment, and it would not have been a problem, had her shields been raised. As it was, he had probably been adjusting his shield for one reason or another.

The full force of his emotions hit her in that moment, and she gasped and grabbed her head. Jo raised her shields, but not before she felt the fear for her from Jim, Bones, Giotto, and Spock. The force of Spock's fear, though lasting only a moment, sent Jo to her knees.

She had been told, once, when she was a child, that Vulcans felt more strongly than humans, but had never understood that until she felt the unparalleled force of Spock's emotions.

Jim rushed forward as Jo opened her eyes. "Jo! Lieutenant! Are you ok?"

"I'm" -gasp- "fine...just give me...a minute." Jo managed to croak while reassembling her mental shields.

"What happened? Have you ever been transported before? You must have." Jim was looking at her, the worry clear in his eyes. Bones jogged over and joined him, a tricorder at the ready.

Jo saw Bones and held up a hand to keep them all away. "I'm fine, really."

"Can you be certain that your health is optimal?" Finally Spock walked up to the group, followed closely by Giotto.

"I just said I'm fine Commander." She almost rolled her eyes before remembering that he ranked her.

"Fine has variable definitions. Fine is unacceptable." Although he raised an eyebrow, the corners of Spock's mouth turned down slightly as he replied.

Jo stood up, brushing off her knees as she did so, and looked around for the first time. The trees around her were bare and the ground was cracked and dusty. The heat almost made her sink back to her knees. She turned to answer Spock again, and saw everyone looking at her curiously.

"Ok. You want to know what's wrong? Fine. Spock come with me." She walked away, far enough so that her voice would not be overheard by the rest of the landing party. After a moment, she heard Spock follow her.

She turned, only to find that he had followed very closely behind her. They stood, centimeters apart, before she quickly backed up and cleared her throat. Jo lowered her shield slightly to giver her a sense of what to say. She felt confusion, but no anger. That was a good sign.

He raised an eyebrow and asked, "What is it that you wish to tell me?"

"You wanted to know why that" she waved a hand toward the group, as if to signify what had happened moments ago, "happened. It was you."

At this, his eyebrows rose to his hairline. "I do not recall doing anything-"

"No. Let me finish," Jo cut him off. "I, um, lowered my shields for a minute. Just a test, really. A probe, if you prefer that term. And you must've let yours slip for a moment, and well, I wasn't expecting that. It hit me. Your emotions are...Spock they're so strong. How do you handle that?" As she proceeded in her explanation, her voice became quieter and quieter, and by the end it was a whisper. She unconsciously put her hand on his. "How do you control that much pain?"

Spock's back stiffened and his shoulders tensed. He twitched his hand, and she took it to mean 'let go of me'. What he really wanted was completely different. Before he could say anything, Jo held up a hand for silence.

"I know that Vulcans don't like to acknowledge their feelings, which is why I brought you over here. If you don't want the others to know, I understand. I'll just say it was my empathic ability that caused it."

"You would lie?" He projected, once again, a confusion as well as relief.

"It's not a lie. It was my ability that caused it, technically." She shot him a lopsided grin. "Besides, I don't think it's necessary for you to have to talk about your feelings. I'll just say my shield dropped for a minute. Which," she continued before he could argue again, "is not lying. It did drop, I just did it on purpose."

"And why did you choose to expose yourself to this?"

"I told you, it was a test." The last thing she wanted to admit was that she dropped her shield to feel his emotions. And then a thought hit her, and she couldn't think of a significant reason not to ask, "Is your confusion and curiosity always there when you're around us? Is it because humans confuse you?"

If she had been fully human, she wouldn't have noticed his anger. If she had been fully human, she wouldn't have thought about it and felt it the way she did. And, if she had been fully human, she wouldn't have turn and walked away before he could answer, tears in her eyes.

But she had felt the anger at what he took as an insult. Jo felt his embarrasment and his resentment. What she didn't feel was the emotion causing it. What she didn't know was that it was not directed at her, but at himself.


	2. Chapter 2

_**A.N. Wow guys! I'm so happy with the response to this story. I haven't had any fans screaming at me for doing an OC story, so that's always a good thing! Thank you to everyone who reviewed. You made my day, honestly. **_

.thisislogical.

Stupid was the only word going through Jo's mind as she walked away from Spock. Why would she ask a question like that? He was right to be angry with her.

As she neared the others, she realized that she still had to come up with an excuse for what just happened. Jim opened his mouth to speak, but she cut him off. "My shields slipped, that's all. I wasn't expecting it."

McCoy was the first to understand. "Then it was Spock's-" But he was cut off with a glare from Jo that told him not to finish that thought, because she knew that the word he had been about to say was 'emotions'.

"It was Spock I chose to talk to because of the shielding issue. I am sure you can all appreciate that." Pointed look at McCoy, who understood exactly what had happened and what she was saying.

It was then that Spock chose to walk back over to the group, face emotionless, as always.

.thisislogical.

Spock returned to the group, and later to the ship, still reeling. What had just happened?

There was a dark emotion inside of him that he did not understand. He could not put a name to it. It haunted him all through the mission, as short as it was, and the next whole day. It took him two hours of meditation the next night to push it down, and by that time he had found a word for it. Lust.

And with it came shame and anger. Vulcans did not react like this to humans. If he had been fully Vulcan, this would not have been a problem.

There had never been an issue of this nature with Nyota. Of course there had been curiosity and romantic interest, but never this. Never a desire of this magnitude.

But she was different. He had noticed from the first time he met her. She could read him, and it was unnerving. Never had anyone come close to guessing what he was feeling, and there she was, knowing what emotions were going through his mind at all times.

Something had to be done.

.thisislogical.

Two weeks had passed since the incident, and Jo had noticed a change in the First Officer. He was not, for one, talking to her. Or looking at her. Not once since she had walked away on that mission had he even acknowledged her presence.

She was not ok with it.

The problem was, Jo didn't know why she was annoyed about it. They weren't friends and they certainly didn't used to talk much. Only when she found herself staring after him as he walked off the bridge one day did she realize what was happening.

She was falling for Spock. The only reason she could find behind it was his emotions. It must have happened when she felt them. That's when it had started.

No, she told herself. No way. She was not going to let this continue. Besides, he seemed to hate her. Nothing would happen. Nothing could happen. She wouldn't let anything happen. He was her commanding officer.

Jo mentally berated herself. She did not even know this man! Not well enough to love him, for God's sake! Then her strong emotions betrayed her again. Friendship was not out of the question, her mind told her. After all, it was imperative for officers to get along with each other.

But how would she cross the expanse she had created on that mission? An apology was the only way. With that in mind, she headed toward his room after her shift, intent on gaining Spock's forgiveness and, if she was lucky, his friendship.

.thisislogical.

Spock stood in his room, breathing deeply. It had been necessary for him to excuse himself from the bridge for the second time that week. His...feelings for the Lieutenant had become more difficult to manage, making meditation a struggle.

After retrieving a candle and a mat, he lowered himself to the ground and began an attempt at meditation.

In his mind, he saw her. Walking, talking, running, working. Laughing. Smiling. Being. He saw her and she amazed him, and that thought tortured him. He found her completely fascinating for a reason he could not comprehend. His logic had failed him.

Breathe. In, out. Clear the mind. Breathe. In, out. Clear the mind.

But she was still there. He could not focus, could not find peace. The sight of tears forming in her eyes as she turned from him had haunted him those two weeks, and it was back in his mind now. Her, crying. Her, hurt by his anger at himself for feeling this way and not knowing what it was.

He could hear her sometimes, her emotions. She projected to him, though she was undoubtedly unaware of this. He heard her sadness again, and tried to force himself to focus.

Breathe. In, out. Clear the mind. Breathe. In, out. Clear the mind.

Spock held in a gasp as he suddenly came out of his meditation. This had not been a problem before Lieutenant Clafton. He had been able to meditate every day without any trouble. Now, it was unlikely that he find five minutes of solace. Spock did not know what was happening to him. Why had she become a part of his every waking moment?

A knock on his door stirred him from his thoughts.

"Enter."

The door slid open to reveal Nyota, who was looking questioningly at her friend. Although the two had discontinued their romantic relationship not long after it began, they had continued to be friends, and good ones at that. Nyota was one of the only people Spock could call a friend.

"Spock?" came Nyota's worried voice. "Are you ok? You seemed a little off when you left the bridge."

"I am in perfect health." Spock wondered whether he should ask her about these feelings. He hesitated, and realized there was no logical reason to keep it from her. "I do have a...somewhat personal query, however."

Nyota smiled, obviously glad that he would let her help him. "Yes, Spock?"

"I have been experiencing a strange feeling I cannot identify. I have not been able to keep thoughts of Lieutenant Clafton from entering my mind, despite constant meditation. I am in perfect mental and physical health, and am not sure why this is. I believe it may be a human emotion I am not familiar with. Would you be able to clarify?"

Attempting to hold in her smile, she replied, "I think someone has a crush."

"...Explain."

This time holding back the smile didn't work. Nyota grinned at her friend and clarified the phrase for him. "It means you like her, usually as more than a friend. But seeing as you aren't exactly friends yet…"

"What you are saying is that I am romantically interested in the Lieutenant?"

Spock took a moment to think on this. Romantic relationships were illogical, but it was a plausible explanation for his troubling emotions. It was true that the Lieutenant was aesthetically pleasing. He saw her in his mind's eye: short, with dark brown, almost black eyes and light, reddish brown hair. She was intelligent, yes, and very efficient in her duties as a communications lieutenant. But there was something else to her that he could not describe. His reaction to her hand on his haunted him. He had wanted that touch. Maybe that was it. His reactions to her were mystifying.

"I am saying that's what it sounds like," came her reply. "Do you want my advice?" He hesitated for a moment, then nodded. "Don't start with romantic intent. Be her friend first. Get to know her. I think you'll like her even more if you do."

.thisislogical.

Jo walked toward the door and was about to knock when she heard a voice inside, and one she did not expect to hear. Nyota. She backed up, out of earshot, and waited. A few minutes later, her fellow lieutenant walked out, smiling to herself.

Pain filled Jo's heart at the sight. She quickly pushed it away, knowing that it was illogical to feel that way. He wasn't hers. Obviously he was someone else's.

Not long after she had joined the crew had the news of Spock and Nyota's relationship reached her. When first she had heard, happiness was what she had felt. But that happiness slowly progressed, turning into jealousy and sadness. By the time she had realized what her feelings truly were, she had forgotten about Nyota. That didn't last long.

But she wasn't here for that reason. She was here to apologize. Pull yourself together. Walking up to the door once again, Jo knocked, putting up her shields as she did so.

"Enter." And she did.

As she walked through the door, Jo took a look at her surroundings. Not surprisingly, the place was pretty plain and incredibly organized. There were a few personal touches, including a picture cube on a shelf next to a beautiful Vulcan instrument. What she did not see, however, was the person she was looking for.

"Hello, Sp- uh, Commander?"

A second later, Spock emerged from a doorway at the end of the room. "Lieutenant. Can I help you with something?"

She looked for emotion but felt nothing. Not a single emotion. He must have his shields all the way up, Jo thought to herself.

Taking a deep breath, she got right to the point. "I came to apologize."

Spock quirked an eyebrow and asked, "What do you find the need to apologize for?"

This would be harder than she thought.

"On the mission a few weeks ago, I asked you something that was highly personal. It was inappropriate and I am sorry. I understand why you were so mad at me. I overstepped my boundaries." Jo looked at his eyes and, seeing nothing there, lowered her head, thinking he was once again angry with her.

And then she felt it. Only a flicker, but it was there. Curiosity and...sadness?

Her head snapped up to see his eyes widen. Then they spoke simultaneously.

"Did you just-"

"I did not mean-"

They both stopped, waiting for the other to continue. Spock took the initiative and continued his sentence. "I did not mean for you to believe I was angry with you Lieutenant." A contemplative look crossed his face, barely, and he continued. "I was angry with myself, though I cannot explain why. It is I who should apologize for appearing distressed."

"You weren't angry with me?" The surprise and relief were plain in her voice.

"I was not."

Both of them stood there for a moment, just looking at each other, each trying to think of what to say next.

"Can I ask you a question then?" It was Jo who broke the silence.

"You may."

"Would you call me Jo? When we're alone at least." She ducked her head, afraid that his answer would be 'no'.

"That is logical. You may call me Spock when we are alone." He inclined his head and she smiled. "If I may ask you a query in return...?"

"Of course. What is it?" Curiosity filled Jo and she was sure it spilled out and passed her shield altogether.

Jo swore she saw his lip twitch, but it was gone in a second. Maybe she imagined it.

"I was under the impression that only friends used each other's given names." He hesitated, seemingly undecided. Jo knew what he wanted to ask and, rather than have him embarrass himself, chose to answer.

"Yes, I consider you a friend. Or, I'd like to, at some point." She gave him an encouraging smile, hoping he wouldn't throw her out of the room at the declaration.

"I see. I too hope that we may become friends." There was no mistaking it. His lip definitely twitched that time. He's smiling, Jo realized with a start. Or trying to hold back a smile. "Lieutenant-"

"Jo."

"-...Jo. Would you care to play a game of chess with me?" Spock gestured to a table not far behind him. "I am not due for another shift until approximately 3.4 hours from now, and your next shift is not until approximately 5.6 hours from now. I understand if you would enjoy spending your time elsewhere, however."

"Well...I'd love to...but…" Jo looked down, a blush coming to her face. "I don't know how."

"You never learned the game?" One eyebrow rose slightly, and she felt something from him, but could not name it.

Jo could name every emotion a human could feel. Every single one. What was this that she could not identify? A Vulcan emotion humans could not feel? Or was it something more intricate, like the combination of emotions she could not mentally separate?

She stared at him, trying desperately to untangle the web. Only after a minute passed did she notice he was staring back. He had asked a question...and she had not answered.

"Oh. Sorry. Um, no I never learned how to play."

"Then I shall teach you."


	3. Chapter 3

_**A.N. Thank you all for being so patient! This chapter was hard to write, but I hope you all like it! Thanks to everyone who reviewed, you truly made my day.**_

.thisislogical.

Jo woke up in Sickbay, wondering exactly how she got out of that situation alive. Closing her eyes, she struggled to remember the last few hours.

Blood. There had been so much of it. Jim's, Uhura's, her own. And then...green. Green? Green blood. Spock's. Spock had been injured. Pain. Yes, there had been a lot of that as well. Warmth. Heat. Protection.

It all came rushing back: the warmth of Spock as he stooped next to her to check her pulse, the heat of his body as he carried her out of the prison, the protection she felt at being in his arms.

His voice, as he addressed the crew in the enemy's jail with her, filled her head. "Your fear is killing her."

Killing her, and yet she was not dead. It had been too much, and it still was. Her shields had crumpled, and she had yet to rebuild them. The pain and fear that filled the Sickbay was too much, and she blacked out again.

.thisislogical.

24 hours earlier.

Jo moved her bishop on the chess board, only to see it stolen by Spock's queen a moment later. After a month of chess lessons with Spock, she still had much to learn. Looking at the pieces that remained on the board, Jo sighed. A few moments later, Spock opened his mouth to speak, but she interrupted him. "I know, I know. Checkmate."

"Why must you announce it for me every time?"

Jo laughed and shrugged her shoulders. "I feel it when you realize it. You triple check every time, and I beat you to saying it."

Spock's lip twitched, and she knew he found her observation amusing, though he would never say it. "I see. I am too slow, it seems. I will endeavor to announce my victory faster in the future."

"Maybe sometime I'll actually mean checkmate when I say it," Jo told him with a smile.

"I believe the correct human colloquialism is 'do not hold your breath'." His face was as blank as ever, but she felt drifts of amusement and happiness from him and saw mischief in his eyes. Jo broke out in laughter.

During their time together, Jo had realized that Spock's eyes showed more emotion than she could feel from him at times. It had been easy for Spock to acclimate himself to reading Jo's emotions, as she was very open with them. They had, in those few weeks, become fairly close. Jo would without hesitation say that the Vulcan was one of her closest friends. Spock too felt as if their friendship had become stronger than even the one he shared with Nyota.

Jo was about to respond to his joke when there was a knock on Spock's door. He stood up immediately and walked towards the noise, pressing a button so that the door slid open to reveal Jim.

"Jim…" Jo began, then noticed the look on his face. "Captain, what is it?"

"Klingons. But they're...well, they are on the planet below us. Lieutenant Uhura and a few Ensigns beamed down to do a little research. Spock, some of your own Science Department are down there. The Lieutenant only just got a message through before the communications were blocked. It said 'Klingons...many...need backup...in prison'. We need to get down there. Now."

"Captain, I am not sure if this is a logical course of action."

"Excuse me? Listen, Commander, one of your friends is down there, trapped by Klingons. I am not leaving her there, is that understood?" Jim's voice was dripping with anger and the glare he sent towards his First Officer was terrifying.

Spock raised an eyebrow. "I did not mean to suggest that we leave the Lieutenant. I only meant that it would not be logical to beam down to the planet without a sufficient plan."

"Oh." Jim gave him a sheepish grin. "Right, yeah. That's a good plan."

"Captain?"

Both men turned toward the sound, as if they had forgotten Jo was there. "Yes Lieutenant?"

"I am requesting that I beam down to the planet. I am fluent in all the Klingon dialects and may be able to discover where they have Uhura and the others."

"Absolutely not." Jim and Jo turned to stare at Spock.

"Spock, I don't think she was asking you…" Jim said with a slight smirk. Turning back to Jo he continued, "That being said, I agree with him. I don't think you should go down. You've never fought Klingons before, and trust me, they aren't very nice."

"With all due respect Captain, I think I can handle it. I want to help. I need to help." The plea in her voice must have made some sort of impact.

"Fine. Alright, yes, you can come with us."

"If I may inquire as to who 'us' entails, Captain?"

"Me, you, Jo, Ensigns Jones and Conroy, and Giotto."

"Very well. Should we proceed?"

"No, Spock, we're gonna stand here for another hour and then go."

"I do not appreciate being thus spoken to."

"Of course you don't."

.thisislogical.

The next hour was spent planning and working. They beamed down and immediately located the prison. As they walked towards the back of the ancient looking stone building, Spock held out an arm to stop the group.

"I hear footsteps. They are not our own."

A second after the words left his mouth, Jo felt a hand clamp over her mouth. Because she was in the back of the group, no one noticed that a Klingon had come up behind them and attacked the Lieutenant.

Jo tried to scream, but to no avail. The Klingon picked her up and walked quietly backwards. She felt herself begin to lose consciousness and projected as much fear as she possibly could. Right before she blacked out, she saw Jim turn around, a look of pure horror on his face.

The next few hours found Jo fighting to stay awake. Every time she opened her eyes, something was placed under her nose. Finally she woke up and found herself able to stay awake. Jo took stock of her injuries, noting a burning pain in her stomach that she would worry about later. Looking around, she saw others with her in what appeared to be a cell.

She crawled around on her hands and knees, searching for someone familiar, hoping that no one was dead.

"Jo." It was Jim. And Uhura. They were sitting against a wall, and the relief in his voice was evident.

"What happened to-to the others?"

"Don't know."

"Jim, my head. I can't- it's all too much...my shields…aren't up…"

"Shhh, shh, calm down. Hey, relax." He put a soothing hand on her own.

"Wait, I c-can feel his...emotions...he's here."

"Who? Jo, who is here?"

"S-spock."

Just then the group heard a door open and through the dark they saw two Klingons and three humans. All three of them were men, and Jo immediately recognized Giotto and Ensigns Jones and Conroy. They shook with cold and fear, and Jo could acutely feel what they were feeling. It made her dizzy and her head was pounding from the impact of so much fear in one room. She wasn't sure how much longer she could handle it. It was overwhelming, consuming, and as she began to succumb to sleep once again, she heard him.

One Klingon fell, the blow to the back of his head knocking him unconscious. The other turned, ready to fight its opponent, when it too fell with a nerve pinch to the neck. Jo could feel him, his emotions let loose. Pain, fear, and anger all broke forth from behind his shields. The force of it pushed Jo further than she could handle, but not before she heard him address the group before her. "Your fear is killing her." She felt him walk to her, check her pulse, and lift her into his arms. And then the darkness consumed her.

.thisislogical.

Jo's door slid open and she vaguely heard Doctor McCoy walk in. The machines around her beeped loudly when she attempted to turn towards him.

"Whoa there. Relax," came his voice from her left.

After a minute of useless struggling, Jo found that she couldn't move the right side of her body.

"L-Leonard? Why can't I move?" Jo asked with difficulty.

"You were poisoned. It's a side effect, but I've got the antidote pumping through your system. You'll be fine in a few hours."

Relief washed over Jo, and that's when she noticed it. Or noticed the absence of it, really. She hadn't felt an emotions from Leonard. Nothing.

"Leonard. Think of something that makes you happy," Jo demanded, the anxiety seeping into her voice.

"Why?"

"Just- please."

She waited. And concentrated. Even dropped her shields, and still nothing.

"Oh no!" The cry escaped her lips as she looked at her friend in despair. "It's gone."

"Damn it, Jo, what's gone?"

"My empathy."

.thisislogical.

Spock stood outside Jo's door, waiting for Dr. McCoy to come back out. The only reason he wasn't in the room with them was the doctor's insistence that Jo needed quiet and rest, not a 'hobgoblin botherin' her'. Spock was forced to accept his somewhat biased statement, opting to wait until she awoke.

When her heard her wake up, he almost ran to her, but something stopped him. What if she did not desire to see him? He had assumed, and assumptions were illogical. But he was her friend...surely she would want to see him…?

But all logical thought left his head as Spock heard her desperate cry. Slamming the door open, he burst into the room moments after Jo realized what had happened to her ability.

He walked to her side, choosing to ignore the glare Doctor McCoy was giving him.

"Spock! I mean- uh- Commander." Jo looked up at him, a look of complete loss in her eyes.

"Lieutenant," he replied smoothly.

"I can't feel it." The unshed tears shimmered in her eyes and she looked at him. "The cloud of emotions...it's gone, and mine aren't strong."

Spock wanted to comfort her. He didn't like the tears that now streamed down her face. All he had to do was reach out- but no. That would be illogical.

Instead he turned to Doctor McCoy. "Is it possible this loss of empathy is due to the traces of poison left in her system?"

"Damn it Spock, how should I know? I've already told you, this poison hasn't been used on Betazoids before and I don't know how it affects them!"

"Leonard, is it possible?"

He grimaced at the sadness in her voice. "It may be possible, yes."

"That's all I needed to hear."


	4. Chapter 4

_**A.N. Hello all! I know, I know, I am so sorry for the wait! I've been working on this though and the next chapter is almost done, I've just got some tweaking to do. This is somewhat short, but it's an important chapter nonetheless. I think I have about one or two more chapters until this story's done, so I hope you all enjoyed it. I know it was rather short, but I've got some other stuff in the works as well. Thank you everyone who read this, reviewed, favorited, and followed! **_

.thisislogical.

After several hours of scans and McCoy's antidote doing its job, Jo lowered her shields again. This time a trickle of feeling washed through her, though she was unable to identify it. Spock had been with her the whole time, testing her shields and lowering his own to aid her.

"Raise them again, Jo." Spock's voice was strict, like the teacher he once was.

"No, I've almost got it...just a few more seconds…"

"You will injure yourself if you do not follow my instructions." There was a hint of worry in his voice, and for once Jo did not need her ability to know he was concerned for her. She did as he instructed and completely raised her shields again.

"I'm so close. I can feel something, but I don't know what it is."

"I will not tell you. You must discover it on your own."

"Ok. I'm ready." She sat up straighter and screwed her eyes shut, concentrating as hard as she could.

"If I may," Spock said, causing her to open her eyes once again. They widened as she saw him hold his hand out to her. "It may help with the transference."

Speechless, she nodded. Jo knew how sensitive Vulcans' hands were, and she knew that it was a considered very affectionate to touch hands. How affectionate, she had no idea.

He gently touched her hand, testing her reaction. She opened her palm and he grasped her hand.

Jo took a deep breath and braced herself, then lowered her shields. Immediately she felt the same emotion, and this time it was overpowering. The only difference between this empathic encounter was that she could not tell if it was her own emotion or Spock's.

"You must concentrate. Think, Jo."

A minute passed, and then another, and still the emotion grew stronger. Bursts of red and pink went off in Jo's mind, and she finally named the feeling._ Love_. It must be her own then. Or...was it Spock's?

She quickly let go of his hand, wary of the telepathic ability he had. "Love. It was love."

"Indeed. I believed a strong emotion was necessary for you to regain your empathy. It seems my calculations were correct."

Then it was his emotion, but it could not have been directed at her. No, it must be someone else. That was it; he was thinking of someone else.

Sadness washed over Jo at the thought, but it was soon replaced with joy. Her emotions were as strong as they had previously been. It was all coming back to her and she turned to Spock, the smile on her face the biggest it had ever been.

"_Thank you_."

"You have no reason to thank me. I simply aided you in your healing, which was the logical thing to do."

Jo smiled then, a smug sort of look on her face. "Touching my hand wasn't logical at all, Spock."

.thisislogical.

Within the next few weeks, Spock and Jo's relationship progressed even further. They were inseparable, eating every meal together and playing chess when off duty. Jo's empathy had returned completely, and Spock no longer used his shields fully when around her. He did, however, shield the feeling that had brought her empathy back.

Spock was meditating on this exact feeling when he heard someone outside his door.

"Enter."

It was Nyota, and she did not look very happy.

"That's it. It's been long enough Spock!"

Spock stood from his seated position and strode over to where she stood at his door. "Please clarify."

An exasperated sound escaped from Nyota's mouth. "I'm talking about Jo. The entire crew has noticed how the two of you behave around each other."

"I do not understand. We behave as friends ought to behave. What are you insinuating?"

"Oh come on Spock. You eat every meal together and are never seen apart. I know that you like her, what I want to know is if she knows."

"Negative."

"Don't revert back to talking like that, Spock. I know this isn't a great topic for you, but please. I'm your friend, and I just want to see you happy."

"Happiness is-"

"A human emotion. One that you are fully capable of feeling."

"They are illogical."

Nyota walked past him and sat down on the couch, motioning for him to follow. He raised one eyebrow but acquiesced.

"What is illogical, Spock?"

As he sat down, he turned toward her and repressed a sigh. This conversation was indeed difficult. "My...emotions toward Jo."

Nyota sat quietly for a moment, thinking. Then she smiled a small smile. "You love her, don't you?"

"...Yes. I believe I do."

.thisislogical.

Despite his conversation with Nyota, Spock did not speak with Jo about his discovery. Their relationship proceeded as it had been, strictly platonic.

Meanwhile, Jo was suppressing her feelings for Spock.

She paced her room, debating whether to go to sick bay for the headache she was fighting._ Idiot_, she told herself._ Stupid, stupid, stupid!_ Jo had been taught since birth that Betazoids should not suppress emotions, especially strong ones. They could make themselves sick by doing so. And what had she done? Completely suppressed the strongest emotion someone can feel. And up until this moment, she hadn't even realized it had happened.

She had fallen in love with Spock.

It was so strong that just thinking about it made her head hurt. When she was around him, her shields had to be raised to hide her feelings. And of course he didn't return the sentiment, how could he? So she hid and she endured the pain, if it meant that she could keep her friendship with the man she loved.


End file.
